IELTS Writing Task 2 Evaluation
Band Score: 6
Detailed Criterion Analysis
1. Task Achievement (Band 6)
- Strengths: The essay addresses all parts of the question: it discusses both city and countryside advantages for children and states a clear opinion (countryside is better). Specific examples are provided (e.g., "play in fields or climb trees" for countryside; "art classes or sports clubs" for cities).
- Areas to Improve: Some main points lack elaboration on their impact on children. For instance, "better education and medical care" in cities is mentioned but not explained (e.g., how better education boosts future opportunities, or how prompt medical care supports health).
2. Coherence and Cohesion (Band 6)
- Strengths: Logical structure (intro → city pros → countryside pros → conclusion) and appropriate linking words ("On one hand", "Additionally", "On the other hand", "In conclusion") are used correctly. Each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Areas to Improve: Enhance flow within paragraphs by adding explanatory sentences. For example, after stating "cities offer various extracurricular activities", you could add: "These activities help children develop creativity and social skills, which are essential for their overall growth."
3. Lexical Resource (Band 6)
- Strengths: Uses sufficient vocabulary for the task (e.g., "extracurricular", "community", "stressful") with no major word-choice errors.
- Areas to Improve:
- Reduce repetition: Replace "children" with "youngsters" or "kids" (used occasionally but could be more varied).
- Fix spelling errors: "breath" → "breathe".
- Use more precise vocabulary: "vibrant extracurricular activities" instead of "various", "serene countryside" instead of "peaceful".
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Band 6)
- Strengths: Uses a mix of simple and complex sentences (e.g., "Some people argue that... while others believe..." and relative clauses like "which helps them stay healthy").
- Areas to Improve:
- Fix grammar errors: "to growing up" → "to grow up"; "countryside" → "the countryside" (e.g., "I believe the countryside is better").
- Expand grammatical range: Use conditional sentences (e.g., "If children grow up in the countryside, they will likely have a stronger connection to nature") or passive voice (e.g., "High-quality education is provided in city schools").
Overall Improvement Plan
- Elaborate points: For every advantage you mention, explain how it benefits children (e.g., better education → better career prospects).
- Enhance flow: Add transition sentences between ideas to connect them smoothly.
- Vary vocabulary: Use synonyms and more descriptive words to avoid repetition and boost lexical range.
- Polish grammar: Correct minor errors and practice complex sentence structures to increase accuracy and range.
This essay has a solid foundation—with these changes, it could easily move toward a Band 7!
（免責(zé)聲明：本文為本網(wǎng)站出于傳播商業(yè)信息之目的進(jìn)行轉(zhuǎn)載發(fā)布，不代表本網(wǎng)站的觀點(diǎn)及立場(chǎng)。本文所涉文、圖、音視頻等資料的一切權(quán)利和法律責(zé)任歸材料提供方所有和承擔(dān)。本網(wǎng)站對(duì)此資訊文字、圖片等所有信息的真實(shí)性不作任何保證或承諾，亦不構(gòu)成任何購(gòu)買(mǎi)、投資等建議，據(jù)此操作者風(fēng)險(xiǎn)自擔(dān)。） 本文為轉(zhuǎn)載內(nèi)容，授權(quán)事宜請(qǐng)聯(lián)系原著作權(quán)人，如有侵權(quán)，請(qǐng)聯(lián)系本網(wǎng)進(jìn)行刪除。
